Hey there, my name's Rita. 18 years old, living in the UK currently. Inconsistent(ish) blogger, likes music, many fandoms, and other things. I have another nature/photography blog but everything else that doesn't fit on that ends up here. Would take too long to list everything you may encounter here so just have a look and enjoy the mess :)
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to"
one of the most amazing things that has been said to me in therapy is that self esteem doesn’t exist.
and that floored people and the psych went onto say that what she meant was that self esteem is a concept that actually includes a vast array of things and labelling them all as one thing is really limiting and prevents actual improvement
you could have real strong pride in the things you create and hate your body
you could hate your creations but also want to share them with people
you could not hate yourself at all but not take care of yourself, engage in reckless self endangerment
thats all bundled under ‘self esteem’ but saying ‘i need better self esteem’ doesn’t mean anything
whereas if you say ‘i need to work on ways to keeping myself safe, refusing to act on destructive urges’ or ‘i want to be in a place where i believe compliments trusted people give me’
thats concrete, thats a goal.
having it said in therapy helped a lot of people in my group stop saying ‘i have low self esteem’ and start specifying about the actual issue they have
The first time I left the US was on a trip with my grandmother to Germany. My grandmother was always traveling. Always! Always off on some holiday somewhere, always bringing back tacky souvenirs.
I spoke a bit of German but was far from fluent. I’d been a little worried about communication but my grandmother assured me we’d be fine. She did this all the time, after all.
My grandmother left me in the hotel room one morning to sleep in while she went to the nearby bakery to get some pastries for breakfast. When she returned, she looked very flustered. She got me up because she had to get this off her chest. The woman in the bakery… didn’t speak ANY English. In her words, “Not a lick of English! Not one word!” I replied, heavy with sarcasm, “Really? In GERMANY?” She didn’t pick up on my sarcasm at all and just thought I was equally as astonished as her.
Turns out every trip she’d ever taken was with some pre-planned tour group for obnoxious white Americans. Never in all her years of traveling had she just gone into a small local shop and had to interact with a local whose entire business didn’t revolve around serving people like her. It was a genuine surprise to her that a person - especially a white person! - would actually not understand English.
I later went down to the bakery to apologize as well as I could in German. Fortunately the woman found it very amusing that the American woman just kept talking louder and slower instead of trying to communicate in some other way, and wasn’t bothered at all. But from that day forward I understood something about my grandmother (and a whole hell of a lot of other Americans) that I could never unlearn. That she literally saw everywhere in the world that wasn’t America like some kind of giant fucking Disney World and everyone who didn’t speak English as some kind of bumbling savage. I was embarrassed to be seen with her, ashamed to be there with her. This is very much A Thing and it’s fucking awful.
When I was young and traveling in the late 90s and to about 2007 I want to say? Every time we left the United states we were sat down and would go through some vocabulary that kids should know. Mainly thank yous, hellos and arbitrary pleasantries.
I learned why this was so important the first time we went to France, we entered a port town after leaving England via boat. My Mother barely speaking French, it was nearing 9pm and we had missed the train because of a docking issue to get to our booked hotel.
The ticket master of the ferry pointed us towards an old inn run by the sweetest woman I had ever met. She met us outside of it, waving us over and through my Mom’s poor French and the Innkeepers broken english the two worked so much out. And after signing us in before she went to prep the room herself. She brought each of my siblings a tea pot filled with some of the best hot chocolate I ever had. Because it was so chilly. The next morning she did the same.
Every time I said Merci in french she’d just light up, she even help me learn a few extra things in the short time of breakfast. Apple, orange, tea cup.
It’s one of my favourite memories as a kid and something I try to show to people who can’t speak English visiting America as I work retail. Because, expecting fluent English is rude.
Appreciate people that can speak your language, no matter how small, because they’re doing their best.
I work at a bakery with a lot of Spanish speakers and, let me tell ya, their faces light up when they ask for donuts and I say, “Con o sin azucar?” (Which is “with or without sugar” because some of our donuts are covered in cinnamon sugar). Even basic words can go a long way to make a connection with someone.
i am not joking we need to force teach cooking in schools. like. it is an essential thing for survival. do you know how easy it is to make things if you know even the bare bones shit about how cooking works. we need to teach teenagers how far you can take an onion and some other veggies it’’s sad that people grow up not knowing how to prepare literally anything. and i’m not talking about oh this home ed class taught me how to make chicken nuggets at home i’m talking about learning the balancing of sweetness and acidity and saltiness and bitterness and shit like that and techniques and oil temperatures and how meats cook. it needs to be taught because it’s literally not even that difficult and it matters so much
i truly believe that knowing how to cook is a basic survival concept and the fact that so many people can’t even make simple dishes is depressing as hell this is the sorta thing that should be taught at a young age. being able to take the ingredients you have around your home and turn them into a meal is like, essential and will make life so much better. you don’t need to be a high end chef you just need to understand some things that can be easily taught… but then again maybe the education system is playing a roll against this and ultimately they want you to grow up to rely on mcdonalds for dinner. i don’t know. please learn how to cook for yourself if you’re able. i’m not asking you to hunt for specific ingredients to make some expensive youtuber’s “best” recipe but if you know the basics of cooking you can do a lot with cheap canned ingredients. cooking can be affordable i promise you just need to learn how to make do with what you can get
Can anyone point me towards resources that teach those basics cus I would LOVE to teach my child this stuff but i dont know how to cook
kitchen tools (although the specific suggestions are pretty expensive even with the lower end scale items the basic categories are solid, and you can evaluate what items you will realistcially need - eg. if you dont need to read temp for steaks etc the temp reader will not be relevant) &
the western supermarket playlist of chinese cooking demystified (more recipes available but these are accessible if you dont have “specialty” ingredients)
cooking with boris (bear with me here i know he does it exaggeratedly humorously but a lot of them are actually solid and beginner cook friendly. mostly slavic/russian)
you suck at cooking (also falls into the intentionally humorous category but most of the recipes are pretty solid anyway)
how to cook that (baking, also does debunking videos of viral cooking hacks - breaks down the reasons the hacks dont work, pretty important to understand those basics imo)
i REFUSE to recommended joshua weissman because he is fucking insufferable but if you want you can try if you can deal with it, the techniques/recipes seem fine for the most part
again definitely not a comprehensive list but it touches on most of the basics
This is so cool! But what country are they from? “Africa” is really vague.
Their names are Duro-Aina Adebola, Akindele Abiola, Faleke Oluwatoyin, and Bello Eniola and they’re from Lagos, Nigeria. There’s a neat video about them here.
boost the fuck out of this, and make sure you include their goddamn names and country of origin.
☝🏾
Again: that’s not disrespect, that’s journalism. That’s how headlines work.
The goal of a headline is NOT to be a substitute for the entire article. It’s to tease the article itself, and generate enough interest and intrigue to get clicks. You only have so much time to capture attention in a headline. If you only have a few seconds and a handful of words to snag someone’s news-scrolling gaze and get across pertinent facts, then you try to make those facts as simple and accessible as possible.
If you started a headline with 4 names no one has ever heard before, most people won’t even read all the way to the pertinent information in the headline, let alone be intrigued enough to click on the article itself. And more people know where Africa is than where Nigeria is. I’m not making a value judgment there, it’s just the truth. It’s a funnel approach: you start by appealing to the broadest or most culturally relevant possible demographic in the headline so people will click on it for more information, and then you start going into detail:
In less than 2 sentences we have names and a location.
I checked another article about the same thing, with a similarly catchy and vague title:
And again: names (and this time even ages and pictures) and a location within the first 2-3 sentences of the article, immediately following an eye-and-attention grabbing, snappy and easy-to-digest headline.
This is a basic journalism thing. They ARE named, and in fact their praises being sung–you just have to be willing to read more than a headline before you start judging the content.
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i don’t normally like to add onto posts but i thought this thread was pretty insightful (link)
(via Jovishark)
Whatever you think of the music Imagine Dragons are exmormon and the lead singer is a huge donor to LGBT groups in Utah. His like sole political cause is like fighting the astronomically high lgbt youth suicide here in Utah. I fucking hate this webbed site
yeah, this tweet thread fucking sucks.
1. i don’t like Imagine Dragons’ music and i think it is arguable that much of it’s a commercial product, but their members are, as stated above, more or less ex-Mormon.
he has been a consistent and active ally to the point that he has an annual music festival called Loveloud that is dedicated to raising awareness about LGBT+ issues, featuring and promoting LGBT+ artists, and raising money for several charities. he has also donated his own money to LGBT+ organizations and gave his $1 million childhood home to Encircle, an LGBT+ advocacy group in Utah.
3. Marcus Mumford has explicitly stated that he doesn’t actually identify as a Christian, despite using Christian imagery in some of his songs. a person’s parents being Evangelical conservatives should not be an indictment on them. he and the other band members also kicked out their guitarist when he started spewing alt-right talking points and supporting Andy Ngo. i’m still not totally sure i trust his politics–he strikes me as pretty centrist–but good lord, he’s not an Evangelical.
do y’all not realize that you’re allowed to dislike music for purely surface level reasons? like that it doesn’t have to be that it’s made by terrible people–you can just seriously not like how it sounds?
making up bullshit theories where you falsely charge people–especially people actively fighting for progress–with being part of some kind of conservative religious extremist conspiracy theory to justify “i don’t like how they sound” is fucking awful and appalling. go outside.
Really not a fan of tumblr’s renewed obsession with “if I don’t like it, it must be morally corrupt.” Especially with the “shadowy cabal of ne'er-do-wells” flavor, which has a history of being Not That Great for certain communities.
I didn’t want to get angry about this post, but I think rednines and iwilleatyourenglish are right. I didn’t spend my adolescence being forbidden from listening to Imagine Dragons at youth activities for y'all to say that Mormons love them. In my experience, the only ones who do are the “progressives,” the Jacks, and the ones on their way out.
YES, there’s an issue with this weird, corporate, uplifting “alt rock” that has been invading rock stations for the past few years. I’m sick and tired of it I miss my rock stations, etc. etc. etc. and YES, Imagine Dragons has a place in this. HOWEVER, I absolutely despise the way some of y'all talk about them.
Are there genuine criticisms to be had? Yes. Do I appreciate what has been done with Loveloud? Also yes.
And you guys need to understand that leaving Mormonism is HARD. It’s HARD AS HELL. I was raised in it and I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to fully shake its influence. If Dan Reynolds can do a bit of good in this fucked-up state, if he can help kids who don’t know where else to turn, then he’s fine by me.
This should be good for a high five from dad when he catches up with you.
Can you believe she committed patricide on camera
It’s the near IMMEDIATE suspicion. That initial checking and looking for traps, an instinct that proves to have been OH SO CORRECT and clearly honed from experience, and yet FAILS him. That’s what gets me. A love language of expected deviousness.
